


The Hobbit: Drabbles and Such.

by ArtyMissK



Category: The Hobbit All Media Types
Genre: Community: hobbit_kink, F/M, Fluff, Gen, I Blame Tumblr, ImaginexHobbit, M/M, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Still getting the hang of tags, Tags May Change, gen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-22 02:12:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 12,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2490656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtyMissK/pseuds/ArtyMissK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All of my drabbles and one shots together in one handy place, thank you for reading this and joining me on my adventure. </p><p>(formally titled Drabbles for Middle Earth)</p><p>I love writing, if you have a request let me know.</p><p>Current chapter:<br/>Sequel to chapter 6 - Safe and sound (Bofur/Reader)</p><p>Inspired by two imaginexhobbit submissions ‘Imagine falling asleep in Bofur’s arm’s.’ and ‘Imagine if for once nobody dies.’ ☺</p><p>14.) Protection<br/>15.) Reasons To Stay - Tumblr Request<br/>16.) Bath Time Kisses (Sequel to ch 7) tw: naughtiness, NSFW<br/>17.) How to distract trolls<br/>18.) Bilbo's books<br/>19.) NEVER argue with dwarves<br/>20.) Starlight in another world - Tumblr Request<br/>21.) Enlightenment<br/>22.) Little acorns and mighty oak trees<br/>23.) Fire-Breather<br/>24.) Safe and Sound (pt 2)<br/>25.) ???</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rollerblades in Erebor.

**Author's Note:**

> Standard disclosures apply, I own neither the Hobbit or LOTR. (Well except a rather nerdy collection of the books and movies!) and make no money from any of the following stories.
> 
> This is my first ever fanfiction work. Can you believe it?

“Your majesty.” you ask nervously before the gathered council members, your father included.

 

You’re standing before your king to ask his permission to try your new creation – something which could go either way. Although your father is Bofur, one of the thirteen dwarves who successfully reclaimed Erebor so you do get a certain amount of leeway, that being said your father isn’t exactly fond of your ‘toy’ as he calls it, even though it’s actually a new and faster method of travel - ok so it is also a toy.

 

“I wish to ask your permission to test a new, more…creative method of travel.”

 

“Very well, please present your ‘toy’.” You can see the mirth in your kings eyes, _Oooh, da’s been talking_ _to him._

 

“Thank you, my lord.” You curtsey before reaching into your bag.

 

You’d been improving your design for weeks, and it’s finally perfect. Silver wheels were set into a base plate, just slightly bigger than your boot, with a hardened toe cap and heel piece and leather straps to secure it to your boot - all of which you’d made yourself.

 

_Keep calm, speak clearly…you can do this. Don’t argue with me._

 

“I call them roller blades, my lords...you simply wear them over your boots and they allow you faster, travel.”

 

“They look fun.”

 

“My lord.” the kings comment catches you a little off guard. _Surely da’s been telling the council why it wouldn’t work?_

 

“Thorin she’ll break her legs, we all know it.” _yep da’s been talking to everyone._

 

“Please, I know its faster than walking.”

 

“And more dangerous.” _no, it’s not!_

 

“Da…I”

 

“What about a test?” prince Kili suggests. _Really when did he become so wise._

 

“Aye…if she can get from the main gates to the city vaults in under 20 minutes, then its proof that they’re faster.” his brother continues. _Why didn’t we think of that?_

 

“To walk that distance would easily take double that time.” _Dwalin must’ve counted too, who’d have thought it!_

 

“Dwalin!” your da shouts at the guard captain.

 

“Please.” Fili, Kili and yourself all say in unison.

 

“Fine, Balin go to the main gate with the lass. You will make your start from the main gate at noon and we,” the king pauses to motion to the gathered council “will expect to see you in the vaults by 20 minutes past.”

 

“Your actually going to let me?” you can’t help but ask incredulously.

 

“Yes.” is your kings only reply.

 

“Oh.” _weren’t expecting that were you!_

 

“And if it works I’d like a pair made!” _at least Kili likes them._

 

“Me too.” _and Fili, but when do they ever do anything without each other._

 

“An’ me lass, who knows when getting out fast migh’ be useful!” _ignore him._

“Aye…and if it doesn’t, you will stop this nonsense.” _Yes da course we will, whatever you say._

 

“Deal!”

 

“Very well, we head for vault.” The king says to the council before making to leave. _He’s eager!_

 

 _Please let this work_ and with that thought you and Balin set off for the main gate.

 

~


	2. The Bonds Of Wizard hood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gandalf reassures Radagast after Saruman is mean to him.
> 
> Prompt from hobbitkink ‘Comfort fic with Gandalf reassuring Radagast after Saruman is typically mean to him? Looking for cuddling and/or helpful exchange of hallucinogens. Because a wizard who both looks after small fluffy animals and defeats the Witch King needs more love.’
> 
> http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/1990.html?thread=1374150#t1374150

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclosures apply ☺
> 
> (I'm just going to keep reposting till I catch up again)

Gandalf is currently smoking his pipe whilst sitting in the home of Radagast, the brown and fellow Istari trying to offer wisdom and support for the problem that is currently plaguing the younger wizard seems to be having – if he can get a word in.

 

“He’s just always so mean Gandalf.” grumbles Radagast, trying to keep himself calm by cuddling a hedgehog.

 

“I,” starts Gandalf, knowing exactly who the who is.

 

Although he doesn’t get time to finish his sentence before Radagast starts again “Always telling me I don’t represent the Istari.”

 

“Yes…well,” he tries again.

 

But to no avail “That I’m dirty and crawling with animals and that I live in a hovel.”

 

“Ooh, did he now.” says Gandalf trying a different approach. “Here have a little whiff of old toby, it’ll put your mind at ease.” he continues, wiping the mouth piece of his pipe in his beard before holding it out for Radagast.

 

“That’s it…deep breath.” which Radagast does of course, so much so that his eyes roll backward.

 

“And exhale.” the younger wizard letting out his breath in a great whoosh.

 

“Better?” Gandalf asks bringing Radagast back from his comatose haze.

 

“Yes!” answers Radagast snapping back to reality, but with a much calmer appearance, before promptly bursting into tears, throwing himself at Gandalf for a hug.

 

“Now my lad, enough of that what’s really wrong?”

 

“Saruman said that I eat too many mushrooms and that they addle my mind.” cries an upset Radagast, wiping his nose on his friends beard.

 

“My dear friend, have you got anything to drink?” asks Gandalf gently

 

causing Radagast to spring into action “Tea.” he answers in a chirpier voice, already putting the kettle on.

 

“Have you got anything a little stronger?” asks Gandalf unsure of just how old the milk is.

 

“Have I ever!” states Radagast excitedly, before setting about to drop mushrooms into the tea he’s brewing and skewering various types of other mushrooms on wooden sticks.

 

Watching Radagast  from the other side of the room Gandalf smokes his pipe making ever larger rings and at one point a boat “Oh that’s clever.” says Radagast staring in wonder and amazement.

 

“You know what Radagast, I’ve got something better than old toby,”

 

“Yellow mushrooms!” interrupts Radagast.

 

“No, close but no,” says Gandalf mysteriously.

 

“Shame Milton always has good Yellows ones.” sighs Radagast in disappointment.

 

Ignoring Radagast’s sigh Gandalf reaches into one of his many pockets before holding aloft the new wonder.

 

 “What is it Gandalf, what is it?” asks Radagast practically bouncing with exciting.

 

“Its called a Ci-gar, made of dwarf hair, I stole it from the dwarves when they weren’t looking.”

 

“Hair?” exclaims Radagast, although he doesn’t manage to hide his disgust or curiosity.

 

Gandalf nods before speaking “When smoked, it has a most pleasant effect on the mind.”

 

And so Gandalf the grey and Radagast the brown two of the great Istari sat and deepened their bonds of  ~~brother~~ wizardhood by getting stoned and bitching about Saruman until the sun came up, when they were both hit by the mother of all hangovers.

 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Ci-gar reference is from There Had To Be A Reason. ☺
> 
> Just to let you know I’ve got a fan based tumblr…if you want to check it out it’s and leave me a request for a fic or an art!fill it’s: www.durinsmistress.tumblr.com


	3. Whose Tallest of Them All?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine telling one of the dwarves that you like tall men & then all of them fighting over who is the tallest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclosures apply, I own neither the Hobbit or LOTR. (Well except a rather nerdy collection of the books and movies!)

 “Lass?” you’re asked while mending a hole in your shirt.

 

“Yes Kili.”

 

“What do you look for in a man?” try as they might, you can see all of the dwarves you’re travelling with are listening, even if they still manage to hold quiet conversation.

 

“Well…he’d have to be kind and strong and brave, definitely brave,” you pause trying to think of something else. A moment of brilliance hits you like a mattock and you decide to have a little fun with your dwarves, having been on the receiving end of their practical jokes since you joined the quest. “but most of all he’d have to be…tall.”

 

“Tall?” repeats Kili.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“How tall?” asks Ori, who may or may not be making notes in that secret diary of his.

 

“Taller than Bilbo, but not as tall as an elf!”

 

“She’s got good taste, who’d fancy elves.” interjects Bofur to your left.

 

“B’sides Kili!” adds Nori.

 

“So, are any of them tall enough?” asks Bilbo, seeming to have caught on.

 

“Yeah, are any of us tall enough?” Kili repeats hopefully.

 

“Oh, I suppose one or two of you might be tall enough, but is isn’t as though I’ve checked.” you reply innocently.

 

In a matter of minutes Fili and Kili are back to back trying to test their height with their hands.

 

“Stop pushing my head down!” shouts Kili.

 

“I wouldn’t if you weren’t standing on your toes!” Fili responds.

 

“Stop it, lads.” you weren’t expecting Dwalin to join in so quickly. “Anyone can see I’m taller than the pair of ye.” he says standing tall and puffing out his chest.

 

“Not so fast, Dwalin I’m just as tall as you.” joins Dori.

 

“Surely, the fairest way to see who is truly the tallest would be to…to…” you falter,

 

“Yes, come on what would be fairest?”

 

Stuck for for words you try to think of something vaguely sensible. “Would be to measure your heights with a length of rope!” Bilbo interrupts, you throw him a thankful smile pleased that he his also playing along.

 

“Rope! What good would rope be?” why does Kili have to keep asking questions.

 

“Well, if you placed the end of the rope between your toes it could be pulled parallel to your height.” you supply helpfully, thinking on the spot.

 

“And what prize does the winner get?” of course Nori would be the one to ask about prizes.

 

“Well the winner gets a kiss of course!” Bilbo pauses, before quickly adding “From her not…not me, obviously!”

 

“Bofur, get the rope.” oh, yes Thorin’s joined in too.

 

“I’ll keep tally.” offers Bilbo.

 

Its difficult not to laugh at the scene before you, each dwarf no matter his years, is trying to measure his own height with a length of rope. Balin is of course the shortest of the dwarves, followed by Ori and Bombur.

 

“Nori stop cheating,” shouts Dori.

 

“What?” replies Nori indignantly.

 

“That’s not how tall you are!”

 

“I’m including me ‘air!”

 

“You can do that?” asks Kili hopefully.

 

~ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t help it! I was supposed to be revising, but this just sort of…happened.


	4. Family Beads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili is crying because he lost one of his moustache beads thankfully Thorin has a whole bag of them because it’s a regular thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclosures apply, I own nothing! (Not even the beads!)

“Why’s Fili crying?” asks Bilbo, looking at the upset blonde.

 

“Why do ya think…look!” responds Kili, motioning to his brother “…he’s lost one of his mustache beads.” before puffing up with pride “but don’t worry uncle is in search of it.”

 

Moving to watch the scene from the other side of the fire Bilbo turns to Balin. “How will Thorin find that bead?”

 

“Whatever do you mean lad?”

 

“Well, he got lost looking for the stream over there.” he says motioning with his head.

 

“Yes, well his sense of direction might not be best, but he always knows where the lads lose their beads.”

 

“But…”

 

“Grubs up!” calls Bofur, interrupting Bilbo’s investigation. “Bilbo, get Thorin would ya!” continuing to dish up those who are already waiting.

 

Begrudgingly Bilbo wanders off in search of their searching leader. “What’s that?” he asks sneaking up behind Thorin (who then tries to discreetly hide said object!)

 

“What!” repeats Thorin innocently.

 

“That purse, you’re trying to hide.”

 

“Its…I, well, the boys are always losing their beads so I made extra ones to replace the ones they lose during the journey.” Thorin pauses, clearly waiting for Bilbo to start laughing “Don’t tell them.”

 

“I won’t.” smiles Bilbo.

 

Making their way back from their ‘search’ Bilbo and Thorin  emerge from the tree line looking victorious. “Never fear Fili I have found it.” the king says, opening his hand to reveal his sister-sons missing bead.

 

~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, couldn’t help it.


	5. Forgetmenots.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the imaginexhobbit submission ‘Imagine being Fili and Kili’s little sister and their reactions when they find out you have a crush.’ I chose Ori to be the receiver of your love because he’s just so cute and there isn’t enough love for him and I had to include Dis cause she’s awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclosures apply, I own neither the Hobbit or LOTR. (Well except a rather nerdy collection of the books and movies!)

Flowers, every Thursday there were new ones, red ones, pink ones, yellow ones and it was always on Thursday. This had been bothering Kili for several weeks now, not that he’d told anyone, but he couldn’t work out where the damned things were coming from. 

 

It could be that mother had just suddenly taken to having flowers in the house, but she’s never really liked them, of course she could have an admirer but they’d have to get past uncle Thorin, and no one would ever dare send flowers to you because they would have to deal with both of your older brothers.

 

Funnily enough today was of course Thursday, which meant that when he and Fee got back after a days work in the forge there would be new flowers on the kitchen table, taunting him with their riddles and mystery. Apparently they had arrived this morning after he and Fee had gone to work, so whoever they were from was clearly scared of your brothers.

 

“Amad!” his sister calls as she run down the stairs. “I’m going to the library.”

 

“Ok dear-heart don’t stay too late.” was your mothers only response before she was gone.

 

“Oh, hi uncle.” she says opening the door to leave, letting uncle in in the process.

 

“Off to the library again, she must have read every book in Erid Luin this month.” and Kili hears the mirth in his uncles voice.

 

“Well as long as she’s happy.” replies mother.

 

“Why is she happy?” he asks “Is it something to do with the flowers?” uncle and mother share a look almost as if they are having a silent conversation, apparently uncle wins.

 

“Fili, Kili come and sit down” starts uncle “Now if you must know, your sister recently developed feelings for a young darrow,”

 

“I knew it,” Kili interrupts, “I knew it was something to do with the flowers!”

 

“Well yes dear, he does brings the flowers by every week,”

 

“Who is he?” demands Fili, slamming his fist on the table, already deciding on ways to torment your would be admirer.

 

“Tells us!” the brothers say in unison unable to take the suspense.

 

They were gently told that you were in a relationship with the shy and timid scribe Ori, and had been for some months, after you’d admitted your feelings for one another after lessons one Thursday evening, it had taken three weeks before Ori offered to walk you home – it so happened that uncle Thorin had been walking back from a meeting with Balin and had seen the two of you, keeping his distance he watched as Ori walked you to the front door of you family home and timidly kissed your cheek, before skittering off towards his own home.

 

That night Thorin and Dis had spoken of this event and your mother confessed that she had noticed the change in your attitude and how you presented yourself and within the week they had been to speak with the lads older brother the respectable one, not the shifty one, of course.

 

The following Thursday the first bunch of flowers arrived, sweet really the gesture, so un-darrow like and yet seemed to cause such excitement for the young dam. It was only a matter a time before the courting announcement was made.

 

Once this had all been explained to the brothers they both tried their hardest to remain composed it was difficult yes especially for Kili, you were his little sister and in his opinion were too young to know what a crush was, let alone have one.

 

After dinner the brothers went to their room and started deciding on which tests they would put their would be brother-in-law through, watching through their window for you to return, which you did of course, hand in hand with your apparent boyfriend kissing when you reached the front door. Without saying the word the brothers decided that the tests would start in the morning.

 

~


	6. Safe and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by two imaginexhobbit submissions ‘Imagine falling asleep in Bofur’s arm’s.’ and ‘Imagine if for once nobody dies.’ ☺
> 
> Short and fluffy, Because really, there just isn’t enough Bofur love in the world.
> 
> I know its short but with a gentle push I'm happy to extend this (Really it wouldn't be that hard!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual disclosures blah, blah, blah!

It was over, the battle had been won and everyone had survived, (ok so maybe not everyone.) mostly thanks to Beorn and the eagles.

 

Once the more able, yourself included, had finished clearing the battle field and those who were injured had been moved to the healing tents you paused to stand and stare at the chaos around you. The dwarves of Erebor have now officially reclaimed their homeland, but all you could think about was finding your dwarf and his silly hat.

 

When you do finally find your dwarf, he’s propped up on a cot with his chest heavily bandaged and an elven healer seeing to a cut on his arm. Its now you realise you’ve never been happier to see that hat and the wonderful fact that it’s still attached to him. He’s sees you standing at the edge of the tent and catches your eye, smiling his ever cheerful grin.

 

A little sore but mainly unscathed, you had somehow managed to get away lightly as far as injuries were concerned being more bruised than anything, although you’re rather weary with exhaustion. Once the healer is finished seeing to Bofur and without saying a word you shuffle closer to your dwarf, knowing all you need is to hold him.

 

“Don’t you need a healer love?” he asks when your close enough.

 

“I’ve already been checked, you were sleeping.” you say with a smile.

 

“C’mere.” he says shifting on the cot so there’s room for you, it’s a simple action and is all it takes for your calm façade to crumble and you shift to get as close as possible to your dwarf without causing him any pain.

 

It feels like an eternity since you last slept, not that it matters now. Bofur presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head as you fall asleep safe and content in the arms of the one you love.

 

 ~


	7. Bath Time Teasing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the imaginexhobbit submission ‘Imagine where reader is taking a bath and the company is watching so reader teases the company.’
> 
> ~
> 
> Could be construed as NSFW! for reasons of nakedness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclosures apply, I own neither the Hobbit or LOTR or the reader.

Well you knew it was naughty, but you couldn’t help yourself – besides those pesky dwarves of yours should know better than to spy on a lady while she washes. Although you couldn’t see them you felt eyes on your skin and narrowed a list of possible peepers down to six, most likely the Durin brothers, possibly little Ori, definitely Nori and Bofur and maybe Dwalin.  They were probably spread out around the small lake that you were currently waist deep in.

 

Time to play dirty, you think releasing your tightly braided hair from it’s confines, taking your time to thoroughly run your fingers through the tresses, damn it feels good to let your hair down.

 

Running your hands down your neck, along your collar bone and down your chest gently tweaking your nipples and cupping your breasts, you moan softly and let your head fall back, the ends of your hair dipping into the water.

 

Sure that you aren’t alone you turn towards your things on the shore, slowly walking back to the bank and making a show of reaching for your soap cake, you sit on the waters edge and enjoy slowly lathering yourself, starting at your feet and working up, from the corner of your eye you catch a flash of pointed hair, but pretend not to notice.

 

Entering the water to wash off, you once more massage your breasts allowing your hands to roam lower until they disappear below the water line. Hearing the muffled grunts and gasps of your watchers you dip completely into the tepid water, before returning to the shore and laying down on the mossy grass to dry, in a rather un-lady like position.

 

Brazen and shameless, just two of the words your mother would use to describe you if she knew what you were up to.

 

Felling dry enough and deciding that your audience had had enough of a show, you quickly redress. “Next time you will either join me, or I will bath in peace. Understood.” is all you say before you return to camp, leaving a rather shocked collection of dwarves in your wake.

 

Although you might not have said that had you known that the companies burglar, wearing that magic ring of his was, and had been in the water with you the whole time…but Bilbo planned to be more forward next time, especially as you’d now invited him.

 

~

 

End notes

Inspired by the imaginexhobbit submission ‘Imagine where reader is taking a bath and the company is watching so reader teases the company.’

 

I’m open to writing a sequel if anyone wants it…just comment below.

 

Just to let you know I’ve got a fan based tumblr…if you want to check it out it’s and leave me a request for a fic or an art!fill it’s: [www.durinsmistress.tumblr.com](http://www.durinsmistress.tumblr.com)

 


	8. We’re Not Lost.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin has been separated from the company he’s not lost (he says so) and he’s not alone…Ori is with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fill for prompt on Hobbit Kink: Thorin/Ori or gen - separated from the Company ☺
> 
> I did try going for the mega special injured!Ori bonus points, but injured!Ori tends to make me cry.
> 
> Standard disclosures…are still there.

Somehow, he doesn’t know how, but somehow Thorin has found him self separated from his company.

 

“Clearly they have gone the wrong way.” he says smugly, even though he’s alone.

 

Continuing forward Thorin is certain that if he walks around the upcoming corner he will almost certainly meet back up with the rest of his men.

 

“Useless all of them getting themselves lost in this maze.” pausing Thorin reaches into his coat pocket for his hand rendered (by himself) one-of-kind map.

 

If he continues straight after this right turn surely the others will have caught up.

 

It’s a dead end, but Thorin doesn’t allow his shoulders to slump in defeat oh no, he simply turns his map up side down, turns around and and starts down the opposite path. Completely missing the timid scribe who has been following him since he decided to take a short cut without informing the others.

 

After three more turns, four straights and a slope Thorin is ready to admit defeat and start shouting for help, taking a deep breath, he readies himself to

 

“Mister Thorin.”

 

Glancing back Thorin realizes that he hasn’t actually been alone, the young one, what’s his name? the one with the brothers…Spiky and Fussy “Yes…” he says after a moment.

 

“Ori.” the young dwarf supplies helpfully,

 

Ori that’s it, Ori is and has been with him the entire time. He looks a little frightened but no worse for wear.

 

“Mister Thorin, may I ask something?”

 

“If you must.” sighs Thorin. _Sweet fucking Mahal, is the fool even armed?_

 

“Are we,” starts Ori although he is interrupted by his king.

 

“We’re not lost!” snaps Thorin _how could he think such a thing_.

 

“Oh, um…do you think the others are looking for us?”

 

“No as we’re not lost!” growls Thorin.

 

“That’s a nice map, sir.” says Ori quietly, motioning to the Kings map and conveniently changing the subject.

 

“I mapped the notations myself when we camped at the top of those large hills, over looking this labyrinth.” says Thorin, holding his map aloft for the scribe to see.

 

Its certainly _different_ Thorin clearly doesn’t have the skills of his grand-father Thror’s map is a thing of beauty, especially with those moon runes, when the dwarves have reclaimed the mountain Ori is determined that he will write secret passages of text into the official tome detailing the quest.

 

“Mister Thorin, if I may,” Ori pauses waiting for permission, brilliant a nod from the king “I also took the initiative to draw a map for this maze.”

 

Ori takes his highly (almost too highly) decorated map out of his journal and gives it to Thorin.

It _may_ be prettier than Thorin’s but that’s because…well it just is (not that it would’ve taken much) Ori has taken care to add details to the trees, has worked out a compass, he’s even drawn a completely decorative border.

 

“Obviously I didn’t have time to add such details, being King and all.” says Thorin, his eyes still raking over the map. _He may be an unarmed fool, but it’s a nice map._

 

“Of course sir.” smiles Ori, fighting the instinct to bow.

 

Without a word Thorin strides off with Ori’s map “Follow me lad.”

 

After a few seconds delay Ori shouts “Mister Thorin, we just came from that way, sir?”

 

~


	9. Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dancing with Ori at a party, he keeps stepping on your toes and you keep telling him that it’s fine and not to worry about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclosures apply, I own neither the Hobbit or LOTR. ☹ (Well except a rather nerdy collection of the books and movies!)

The celebrations marking Durin’s day had begun and Erid Luin was full of merriment, Lord Balin had allowed you the afternoon off to get ready for the celebrations and you’d made up your mind tonight you were going to dance with Ori. Its true to some he was a little odd preferring knitting over fighting, but you don’t mind that. “Um…hi Ori.” you say quietly, almost too quietly really and for a moment you’re worried that he hasn’t heard you.

 

“Hi y/n.”

 

“Are,” “Have.” you both speak at once, trying to fill the awkward silence without saying anything stupid.

 

“Would you like to dance?” you ask nervously, you’ve always had a little crush on your fellow scribe.

 

“Oh, I…er, I’ve not danced before.” stutters Ori, falling over his words while staring at something fascinating on the floor between you both.

 

“Me either.” you say ducking down to be in his line of vision, bringing his attention back to you. Smiling you offer your hand, which he thankfully takes and leads you nervously to the floor where others darrow are dancing, thankfully the song isn’t that vigorous, giving you both a chance to settle into a rhythm. With your left hand in his right one you timidly put your other hand on his shoulder while he places his hand on your waist.

 

“Maybe we should just copy everyone else.” you say, before starting to sway lightly, looking around you to check that your doing it right.

 

‘I think its like this.” he says taking little steps to the left and right, over Ori’s shoulder you catch sight of your father talking with Ori’s older brother Dori, at least their smiling and not arguing with each other.

 

 “Ouch!” you jump as Ori steps on your foot.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Its ok, that was my fault…I stopped concentrating.”

 

You both start ‘dancing’ again and are nearly hit by Dwalin and Princess Dis who didn’t even seem to notice you, you watch as Dwalin twirls Dis before they continue their much more romantic style of dance.

 

“We should try that!” Ori decides to twirl you maybe a little overzealously and your hair whips round and goes in his face, causing him to stand on your foot…again. “Sorry, I’m really sorry.” he apologises turning beet red.

 

“Ori its ok.” you say smiling, relieved he isn’t wearing armoured boots. The song quietly comes to an end and a more lively one starts, the other dancers suddenly picking up the pace to match the new song.

 

“One more dance?” he asks not letting go of you.

 

“Sure.”

 

“Ouch.”

 

“Sorry…again.” really, his face is nearly the same colour as your dress.

 

 “Its ok but, well…maybe next time, you could take your boots off.”

 

“Next time?” he smiles, bouncing a little quicker.

 

“Yeah.”

 

~


	10. Any other name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin has been accepted into the master guild of warriors, now he just has to name his axes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This spawned from playing the Lego hobbit game with my sister today. In LakeTown one of the characters says "What should I name my boat. Is boaty too obvious?"
> 
> Standard disclosures apply, I own neither the Hobbit or LOTR. (Well except a rather nerdy collection of the books and movies!) and make no money from any of the following stories.

“What do you think their names should be?” it's a simple enough question really much like ‘how should I braid my hair?’ or “What’s the best way to kill goblins?” Dwalin however has asked this particular question hundreds of times since the events of last week.

 

Just a week ago he’d been excepted into the master guild of warriors and had been presented with a pair of axes crafted by his father. It was a fairly short ceremony with an epic celebratory feast that lasted three whole days…seriously _three,_ however once the hangover wore off the damned question arose.

 

_“What do you think their names should be?”_

 

Such a question was natural for one accepted into the guild of warriors, but most don’t name their weapons until after their first battle or at least a slight skirmish.

 

“Y/N!” calls Dwalin when you make no move to answer him “What do you think their names should be?” he continues knowing he has your attention.

 

“I’ve already given you my suggestion.”

 

“No, I will not call them that.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“It just isn’t…” he trails off upon noticing your scowl of disapproval, your suggestions weren’t _that_ bad “I just don’t think it's right for a master warrior to call his weapons, the pride of his armour something so un-deadly sounding.”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with Axe-y and Sharp-y.”

 

“I’m not gonna call them that!”

 

You pause trying to think of a better name “How about Slash-y, and?” you ask before Dwalin interrupts.

 

“No, that’s what Thorin named his sword.”

 

“What about Slice-y and Dice-y?”

 

“Y/n, if ye don’t wanna help.”

 

“Ok, ok what about…Grasper and Keeper.”

 

“That’s…actually that’s not bad,” he pauses looking over his new weapons  “in fact I quite like it.”

 

~

 

Names chosen Dwalin spends the next four days pondering over which form of runes to use when carving the name of each axe onto it's blade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry…well, sort of :)


	11. Expecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is pregnant, if only she could get the darrow in her life to realise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There isn't enough Oin in the fandom for my liking so here's my contribution.
> 
> Standard disclosures…I still don't own Oin or the Hobbit.

You knew exactly what the problem was, well actually there was no problem. In fact it was a cause for celebration, not that your husband was listening oh no he insisted you visit his older brother in the infirmary.

 

“Now sister –mine, I hear your unwell.” asks your brother in law as you enter the medical bay and sitting yourself onto a cot.

 

“You heard nothing of the sort!” you reply knowing he probably didn’t hear that either

 

“Please y/n.” asks your oh-so-devoted husband, turning to the healer Gloin continues “Brother she’s been unwell, sick every morning this week,” wringing his hands in his beard “ _and_ sometimes in the afternoon too.”

 

This causes a slight argument between the the sons of Groin as Oin proceeds to explain to his brother why he shouldn’t beat his wife with sticks in the morning, of course your husband protests his innocence (rightly so) and is soon sent from the room by the your ever so loving if not hard of hearing brother in law.

 

Those two really ones a mad old coot the other is your husband and both are stubborn and think they’re always right.

 

“Oin, brother, I swear to you I’m fine” you say trying to get his attention. It doesn’t work he’s already rummaging through the various potions and lotions situated around the room.

 

“Have you been sick?” he asks you seriously.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Are you feeling unwell?”

 

“…yes… but not in the way you think.” before you get a chance to explain

 

“Right then, don’t worry sister I’ll get you sorted in no time.”

 

Oin, dear old Oin starts by checking your temperature and pulse “Now where are you feeling sick?” he asks suddenly.

 

“I’m not sick I’m expecting.”

 

He nods in understanding.

 

_Maybe he can tell, he should be able to after all he is an expert healer._

 

“Expecting what…your name day was last month and Frostday is not for three moons yet!” _Nope didn’t think so._

 

“No I mean I’m _expecting_!” you say again losing all sense of reality.

 

“Of course you are, now let me check you over.”

 

Huffing you flop back on the infirmary cot, the darrow in your life could be unwitting at times.

 

“Well I can't feel anything wrong,” he says, pausing in his in-depth examination your feet “is there any tenderness?”

 

“I’m having a baby.” you say quietly, pondering about how he ever managed to become a healer.

 

“No tah, I don’t want any tea.” He says dismissively, still concerned with your feet.

 

_Hopeless utterly hopeless._

 

“For Frostday I’m getting you an ear horn you deaf old coot.”

 

“But now it's not a surprize that’s the whole point of Frostday!” of course he would hear that.

 

~


	12. Bath Time Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Bath time teasing, Bilbo and the reader enjoy some love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be gentle with me this is still only my third attempt at smut.
> 
> Thank for all the comments about chapter one, sorry it's taken longer than expected to post but here it is, although I’m still not completely happy with it.
> 
> Please critique ☺
> 
> Standard disclosures…as before.

The cold water was heavenly on your flushed skin, it has been weeks since the company had camped near a lake and the time alone was wonderful, although you couldn’t help but wonder if your offer would be taken up.

 

You were so lost in your thoughts that you failed to notice the companies burglar sneak up behind you. Bilbo slowly untied your hair letting the ends fall into the water before gently throwing it over your shoulder “You said that next time we were to join you, or leave you in peace,” he pauses to lay a gentle kiss below your ear “so here I am.”

 

One kiss and the hobbit has you weak at the knees and you can’t quite believe what you’ve just heard. The polite and proper Bilbo Baggins you’ve grown rather attached to has turned into a devilish tease?

 

Bilbo continues to pepper your neck with kisses as you reach up to run your fingers through his curly hair.

 

Reaching around to your front Bilbo gives your breasts a playful squeeze before tweaking your nipples and you moan softly letting your head fall back onto his shoulder, turning your head to press open mouthed kisses along his jaw.

 

“Well, master hobbit I’m glad you’re here,” you say softly and Bilbo hums in response as his hands wander beneath the water “you see I, ah!” you moan as his fingers find your sweet spot.

 

Your breasts rise and fall rapidly and your breathing quickens as Bilbo continues to rub that spot with his expert fingers.

 

“I want to…” he stops and clears his throat, but when you try to move he holds you still “I want to, to be with you,” he continues, reaching to grab the honey soap he was given by Beorn, rubbing the sweet soap gently between your shoulder blades, the slight roughness of his fingers adding to your pleasure “I love you.”

 

Dumbfounded by his revelation, you merely nod as he continues to wash your back, unable to hold back the soft moans escape from your mouth.

 

He reaches down to collect a handful of water and pours it over your right shoulder,  peppering feather light kisses over every inch of newly cleaned skin, repeating the process on your other shoulder, before cheekily pinching your bottom to turn you around so he can tend to your front.

 

You feel your confidence grow as he takes care of you. “I love you too Bilbo, I have ever since you answered your front door.” you say quietly before kissing the hobbit, trying to pour every ounce of emotion you feel into the embrace.

 

It's only now you get a proper chance to look at your hobbit, although you’ve often imagined what he looks like naked, you place your lightly on his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath your fingers.

 

You take the soap from his hand before he’s finished, studying his expression before beginning to lather up his chest.

 

“When we’re are alone I will love you fully, in every way imaginable.” he says, kissing you again and its only then you remember that there’s a chance you have an audience.

 

~

 


	13. Brilliant, why didn't think of that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dwarves are convinced that once inside Mirkwood the elves will spy on them, thankfully they have brilliant disguises for such an occasion - they pretend to be women.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclosures apply, I own neither the Hobbit or LOTR. (Well except a rather nerdy collection of the books and movies!) and make no money from any of the following stories.
> 
> Anything in Italic is Bilbo’s inner Took.

“What are you doing?” asks Bilbo hesitantly, knowing full well that it's a question that will have a rather odd (meaning dwarvish!) answer.

 

Gandalf left with his horse on some secret wizard thing and immediately the mighty dwarves of Erebor dropped their weapons…and their trousers.

 

“Taking precautions!” cries Kili in reply already fighting with his boots.

 

“Why?” asks the baffled burglar. _Yes, why?_

 

“Because the _elves_!” shouts Fili from across the ‘camp’, _but of course!_

 

“And the forest.” finishes Kili.

 

“Do you understand?” asks Thorin as if he were talking to a frightened animal, despite the fact he’s plaiting his hair over one shoulder in an effort to bare his neck.

 

“Not really no, you’re all stood out in broad daylight stripping down to your unmentionables because we’re going through a forest!”

 

“Don’t be so silly!” scolds Dori – although he too is playing with his hair. _Who knew it was that long?_

 

It's interesting to say the least once in their smalls the dwarves start to re-do their hair and it Bilbo had ever thought that they were elaborate to begin with, he could have never been more wrong! _I wonder how often they do this?_ They even apply powder to their faces and bright shapes of colour to their eyes and lips. _That red is rather lovely._

 

They even have ladies clothing, Dori has produced an embroidered red number that matches his cape and Nori has turned his hair into a sort of oversized bow, while the others squeeze themselves into dresses and long skirt, little Ori even has a bonnet. _He looks so cute._

 

“Remember to hide things in the places the elves wont dare to touch!” says Balin calmly as if everything is perfectly normal.

 

“ _Why are you doing this_?” blurts Bilbo’s inner Took suddenly, he’s usually so in control of it.

 

“Balin, explain!” ~~asks~~ demands Thorin, who’s still trying to look like a brooding king while hiding Orcrist up his skirt.

_I know where this is going, let me out!_

 

“Well laddie, elves are a suspicious folk, unlike us dwarves ( _really)_ and they instinctively know when races other than themselves enter the forest, and male dwarves are always imprisoned no matter the reasons for being there,” explains the old dwarf in his best grandfatherly tone, pausing to check that Bilbo understands “we have devised an ingenious way of out witting the elves, they,”

 

Although he is suddenly interrupted by his ~~sister~~ brother “They like to think ther’ all graceful and gentile by ne’er imprisoning women-folk.” finishes Dwalin, _he looks more terrifying than usual._

 

 _Actually a few of them make rather nice ‘women’_.

 

Bilbo does listen and look, really he does before becoming utterly distracted by Kili and Fili.

 

“Brother help me…I need letting out.” says the younger of the Durin lads, not that his brother is much help.

 

“That’s the first step on a slippery slope!” chuckles Fili.

 

“I’m not getting fat,” pouts Kili, adjusting his new found ‘breasts’ before turning, so that his corset can be loosened “just an inch.”

 

“Of course brother.” replies Fili lovingly before letting out Kili’s corset by at least four inches.

 

Bilbo knows he’s staring, the dwarves also know he’s staring, but still no one says a word.

 

“Your plan to outwit the elves is to dress as women.” asks the hobbit staring at the mad darrow in front of him _THIS is a brilliant plan it's bound to out smart the elves!_

 

“Yes.” answers more or less every dwarf in the area.

 

“Brilliant, why didn’t I think of that?”

 

“Because mister Bilbo, you’re a hobbit, not a well travelled darrow like us.” says Bofur, motioning to the company of lady-darrow. Bilbo can tell it's Bofur - the hat gives it away.

 

Still Bilbo - both Baggins and Took can't help but agree with them, he has never travelled further than Froggmorton, maybe this kind of thing is necessary.

 

“Master Baggins.” Bilbo is disturbed from his thoughts by lady Thorin and really he looks fantastic, all midnight blue velvet and a slight red colouring to ~~his~~ her lips. “If you are quite finished fantasizing, we are waiting on you.”

 

_Brilliant, why didn’t I think of that._

 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not against continuing this if you want me to drop a comment below ☺


	14. Protection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a serious father-son discussion, Gloin gives Gimli ‘the talk’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclosures are…still standard.

If what Dwalin had told him was true Gloin needed to have serious words with his only son Gimli, he knew it was coming of course the lad was 62 years old! not exactly a boy anymore but still it was no joking matter, someone could get hurt – especially if the boy didn’t know what he was doing or if he didn’t have the right protection.

 

“No, it’s perfectly safe!” objects Gimli horrified that he’s having to have _this_ conversation with his father.

 

“Yes well, when done properly…” tries Gloin calmly.

 

“I AM an expert.” shouts the indignant 62 year old darrow, reaching to grab his throwing axe.

 

Gloin cringes at that, he vaguely remembers shouting something similar at his father during this type of talk when he was only 55 (and he did throw an axe!) “You may think that my boy, but it can lead to other things.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Well, I…oh, um, now my lad,” pauses Gloin trying to think up an answer that doesn’t sound too gruesome – he doesn’t want to frighten his son away from the subject, why, that would be worse than him taking up archery, oh how his heart bleeds for poor Dis. “Dwalin has said you are showing signs of being ready, so here I have a gift for you.” he continues, changing the subject and producing a gift from underneath his chair.

 

“Oh, it's spikey!” says Gimli, slightly baffled at why he’s been given such a thing.

“Aye.”

 

“And you have one?” he asks, Gimli knows his father has one of these he’s seen him wearing it.

 

“Oh aye your mother made ‘em especially.” Gloin can't help but bloom with pride thinking about the skills his wife had when she made them.

 

“Huh.” is Gimli’s only response.

 

“Now son, let me see you put it on.”

 

Although Gimli is having none of it and interrupts, remembering how the last time his father gave him a gift as well made as this one he had to show _all_ the neighbours and it took _hours_ “You know da as much as I’ve enjoyed this talk I’m going out with Fili and Kili so I, er.”

 

“Oh, well take it with you.” deflates Gloin.

 

Standing suddenly, as if he’s just been poked Gimli accidently drops his new gift and it hits the floor with a thud. “Argh don’t drop it, that’s seen many good battles.” shouts Gloin in a panic it wouldn’t do for Gimli’s protection to be dented – it might not fit as well.

 

Handing the gift back to his son Gloin lays a comforting hand on Gimli’s shoulder and looks into his sons eyes “Now son, remember when you go into battle never, no…wait, _always_ wear your helm.”

 

“Yeah…thanks da.” with his new gift in his hands Gimli can feel how heavy it is, it would certainly hurt if you hit someone with it.

 

On closer examination there are even runes carved into it and the finish is perfect, until he realises something “Da why do we have to wear the same?”

 

“Two parts. Matching set from your mothers breast plate.”

 

“Right well thank…you I, er have to go now. I’ll er, take the tit-hat with me shall I?” stutters Gimli trying not to touch any part of his new helmet.

“You’re most welcome my boy.” blooms Gloin, before happily settling himself down for a night in front of the fire with a mug of ale, safe in the knowledge that his son is protected, should he go into battle.

 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry :)
> 
> As usual any requests drop a comment.


	15. Reasons To Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader talks to Kili about the fact that they're human and won't live nearly as long as him. Or when Kili won the argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I have no idea how much longer dwarves live compared to humans, my thinking is on average a dwarf lives about 215-ish years and a human lives 95-ish years so dwarves live twice as long plus a bit more.
> 
> If you actually do know how each races life spans compare, don’t hate just smile and nod as if my math is right.
> 
> Also this is post quest – everyone lives,
> 
> And I’ve tried to keep ‘you/reader’ gender neutral.
> 
> And all the usual disclosures apply.

Prompt: [HERE](http://durinsmistress.tumblr.com/post/115413740441/can-you-write-a-one-shot-where-the-reader-and-kili)

It all happened so quickly, well not all happened so quickly the quest didn’t exactly happen overnight - actually it had taken about a year. What had happened so quickly was your attachment to a certain dark haired son of Durin. Not that anything could ever happen, you’re a mortal human, the only child of a weaver. He’s a dwarvish prince who will live twice as long as you.

 

Still it doesn’t hurt to dream.

 

“Kili, we mustn’t.” you start trying to explain again, You and Kili had been arguing about this for hours now, there were tears and raised voices, until you ran from the mountain crying hysterically.

 

“Why not?” asks Kili although he makes it sound more like a statement, as he sits by you on a large rock.

 

“You’re a dwarf, I am human…it just isn’t allowed.” you continue with a shrug of your shoulders.

 

Although Kili looks at sceptically resting his cheek on his fist. “You ran off into the wild with thirteen dwarves, you weren’t allowed to do that either remember.”

 

Oh he had to go there, your father had screamed at you for showing interest in the dwarves when they stopped in your village to gather supplies for their quest. They were captivating, in all the right ways. The youngest members of the company spent the three days they stayed in your fathers inn trying to convince you to travel with them, saying they were a famous traveling act and that a human would only add to their variety – after all that was why they had a hobbit.

 

While lost in your thoughts you fail to notice Kili sneak closer to you until your shoulders bump.

 

“There are so many reasons I can't stay.” you say with little emotion, it was wrong for a human to live in a mountain of dwarves, you belonged with your own kind.

 

“Listen to me, there are even more reasons why you should stay.” says Kili, he’s got that look about him – you know it so well, he looks frustrated but is actually concentrating intently.

 

“But.” you start to try and reason with him, but everyone knows how stubborn dwarves are, especially when concentrating.

 

“Hush.”

 

“Kili!” really why does he insist on interrupting you all of the time.

 

“I mean it hush. I really really like you and if you’re not going home then you have to stay in Erebor.” he says in a rush, as though saying it quickly will convince you.

 

“But I’m human.”

 

“I know,” the dark haired archer pauses, trying to think of a way to convince you “…uncle won’t mind if you stay, not with all the things you’ve helped us with.”

 

Although when he notices your unimpressed look he panics a little and starts babbling too quickly for you to understand.

 

Covering his lips with your fingers you continue your argument finally getting to your point “Kili, I mean I’m human…you, you could live for another 100 years.” you say sadly.

 

“That doesn’t matter.” mumbles the dwarf from behind your fingers.

 

“Of course it does, I will die before you, leave you alone…I, I don’t want to do that.” the thought alone makes your heart hurt.

 

Removing your hand from his lips Kili kisses your palm “You won’t, not if you stay in Erebor.”

 

“But,” you start trying to find more reasons as to why you cannot stay.

 

“Stay. With. Me.” Kili interrupts sternly, punctuating each word with a kiss to your hand.

 

“Kili.” You groan realising that if he keeps kissing you he’ll win the argument.

 

“Please.” you’ve never been able to resist his puppy eyes, you nod shyly admitting defeat and Kili’s grin is blinding before he leans up to kiss you quickly, maybe it would be ok to stay with him.

 

~


	16. How to distract trolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hobbits have a secret way to defeat trolls, does Bilbo dare reveal it to the dwarves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt  
> Hobbit read-along, William, Bert and Tom bingo week 1.
> 
> Standard disclosures apply, I own neither the Hobbit or LOTR. (Well except a rather nerdy collection of the books and movies!) and make no money from any of the following stories.

There are many ways to avoid certain death, with wargs one should run as fast as possible, with goblins one runs even faster, with trolls however the method has only ever been witnessed by a select few, passed down through generations so that should ever one come into contact with a troll, they can be out-smarted.

 

One such individual who had actually seen this particular method work was Berylla Boffins’s great-great-grandmother (she was a most inappropriate adventurous sort!) who had told her tale of defeat so many times it was considered little more than a myth, almost every fauntling in The Shire knew the tale so well they could repeat it with their eyes closed, while spinning in a circle. One of these fauntlings was none other the Bilbo Baggins who, while he was young had a rather adventurous sprit preferring to hunt for elves and stay out in the dark over playing quietly with the other good little hobbits.

Over time however he grew older as is wont to do in the world and left behind his adventurous sprit for more proper things, such as reading and etiquette, forgetting the tales of his great-great-great-grandmother’s exceptional feat.

 

He remained in his proper ways until one such night when one Bilbo Baggins was sent to burgle from three large trolls who had stolen the ponies of his employer.

 

~

 

“Hoot twice like a barn owl, once like a brown owl, very helpful.” cursed our dear hobbit as he swung upside down in the grasp of a troll.

 

The company of dwarves dropped their weapons so quickly the trolls didn’t quite believe their luck.

 

While the largest of the trolls, later known to the company as Tom threatened to eat Bilbo, the mighty dwarves of Erebor stripped down to their stockings…yes they wear stockings and climbed delicately into burlap sacks.

 

“Don’t bother cooking them.” said the troll named William excitedly, pausing to eye up his dinner “Let’s just sit on them and squash them into jelly.”

 

“They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage.” argued the chief troll Bert.

 

“Ooh, that does sound quite nice.” agreed William.

 

“Never mind the seasoning; we ain’t got all night! Dawn ain’t far away, so let’s get a move on. I don’t fancy being turned to stone.” interrupted the third troll, the one who threatened to eat Bilbo.

 

That comment was all it took for our favorite burglar to be transported back to his childhood to the tales his mother told him.

 

“We need a way to distract them.” whispered Thorin to the dwarves surrounding him.

 

“Nothing distracts trolls and you know it,” answered Balin, pausing to watch as his only brother swore pain and death “trolls may be dim witted but once they’ve set their minds to something they never give up.”

 

Even when tied in sacks dwarves can argue about the merits of out smarting trolls with various tricks.

 

“Maybe we could,” starts Kili.

 

“It won’t work!”

 

“But,”

 

“There’s just no distracting them.”

 

“Actually,” starts Bilbo but then he remembers why he was keeping quiet…it does no good the surrounding dwarves are suddenly all ears, greedy for information and ideas.

 

“Burglar,” growls Thorin harshly, although he is kicked in the ribs by Balin “if you know of a way to save us then…please.”

 

“It’s nothing, just a story I heard as a faunt.” responds Bilbo trying to thinks of anything else that he could do.

 

“Well get on with it Halfling stop delaying.” shouts Dwalin from the spit he’s currently being roasted on.

 

Various threats flow from the mouths of his companions as Bilbo fails to move.

 

“Fine, fine, fine!” calls Bilbo in defeat, trying his best to stand gracefully “I’ll show you how to defeat trolls, but you must swear to keep it secret.”

 

“Do you swear?” calls Bilbo loudly when the dwarves make no move to agree, however at the same time William gripes about waiting too long for dinner and grabs Bombur, dangling him upside down over his mouth, about to eat him.

 

“Yes, we swear!” call all the dwarves in panic at the though of one of their number being eaten so…messily.

 

Clearing his throat to gain the trolls attention Bilbo Baggins prepares to reveal one of the most closely guarded hobbit myths.

 

“Wots it wont?” asks William.

 

Without missing a beat Bilbo opens his mouth and begins to sing.

 

Five little speckled frogs

Sat on a great big log

Eating up lots of lovely grubs, yum, yum!

One jumped into the pool

Where it was nice and cool

Then there were only four little green speckled frogs, glug, glug.

 

The trolls are captivated, unable to move, listening so intently to the simple song, a song all hobbits were taught as part of Berylla Boffins’s great-great-grandmothers tale.

 

The dwarves are also listening intently, although they fail to understand how something so simple can actually work.

 

“Burglar?” asks Thorin who couldn’t be more confused if he tried, although he’s shushed by Bilbo who continues to sing.

 

Four little speckled frogs

Sat on a great big log

Eating up lots of lovely grubs, yum, yum!

One jumped into the pool

Where it was nice and cool

Then there were only three little green speckled frogs, glug, glug.

 

Three little speckled frogs

Sat on a great big log

Eating up lots of lovely grubs, yum, yum!

One jumped into the pool

Where it was nice and cool

Then there were only two little green speckled frogs, glug, glug.

 

All is silent in the clearing, even Gandalf who stands poised to reveal the sun and kill the trolls cannot quite believe what he is seeing.

 

Two little speckled frogs

Sat on a great big log

Eating up lots of lovely grubs, yum, yum!

One jumped into the pool

Where it was nice and cool

Then there was only one little green speckled frog, glug, glug.

 

One little speckled frog

Sat on a great big log

Eating up lots of lovely grubs, yum, yum!

It jumped into the pool

Where it was nice and cool

Then there were were no little green speckled frogs, glug, glug.

 

After several minutes of uneasy silence, with all eyes on Bilbo. William says “Well, keep going!”

 

“I can't there are no more frogs.” answers Bilbo jumping back as the trolls move closer.

 

From the top of the large rock above the clearing Gandalf shouts “Dawn take you all, and stone be to you!” dramatically striking the rock with his staff, splitting it in half, allowing the sunlight behind it to pour into the clearing.

 

As the sunlight touches the trolls’ skin, they begin to turn into stone and within seconds, there are three stone statues of trolls in the clearing. All the dwarves cheer for Gandalf. Although, the dwarves on the spit, including Dwalin, still looked rather uncomfortable…and hot.

 

The company never speak of what happened that night, although Bilbo moves up a notch in most of their books.

 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song isn’t mine it’s something I sing to the kids at the crèche I work at, there are hand actions and everything!
> 
>  
> 
> Also I meshed the movie and the book, but I think it flows pretty well.


	17. Bilbo's Books

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo has a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt
> 
> The Hobbit read-along (Week 6), Team Baggins, bingo square - Baggins card, Books.
> 
> Standard disclosures apply, I own neither the Hobbit or LOTR. (Well except a rather nerdy collection of the books and movies!) and make no money from any of the following stories.

Bilbo never told anyone about his fascination, but he had one, it was a deep, dark secret that he kept hidden beneath Bag End. Now it isn’t unusual to have a secret, hidden or otherwise, though some are considered different, some are strange and some are not to be talked about, but all other hobbits dear Bilbo knew had fascinations like watching the weather when they had washing on the line, or brewing new ales in their bedrooms, even mathom hoarding was an acceptable pastime.

 

The young master of Bag End however, had a rather unusual and uncommon fascination with…books (not your common hobbitish books about gardening, cooking or flower-lore) real books in the hidden cellar built under Bag End he had shelf upon shelf of books, big books, old books, magic books, story books, poetry books, small books, new books, song books, books on fortune telling, books on stargazing, books on spell making, books about naughty, unmentionable things, books about forging, books about fighting, books about medicine, books written by the big folk, books written by elf folk, books written by dwarf folk, he even had a few wizardish books (they had been exceedingly hard to find!).

 

Now you may think that book collecting is fairly normal and a great way to grow ones intellect and imagination, but to a hobbit hiding yourself away in a book is a most unattractive and unexpected avenue of curiosity, especially when one could be picking berries to make a delicious pie with or hiding in a corn field with a lover, staying in and reading a book is considered to be as bad as trailing mud through your home after searching for trolls.

 

It had all started innocently enough as all things are wont to do; he had been in Bree on business and found himself wandering through the market when he found an old book on myth and magic and was captivated by the drawings and depictions inside.

 

Soon he was searching through every market he could for interesting books and sneaking them home to Bag End – he was considered odd enough as it was, it wouldn’t do for folk to find out about his unusual secret.

 

Each shelf was finished with ornate book-ends and categorized by kind, then date and finally author, of course Bilbo had never read every single book word for word (that would take two lifetimes) but he had perused them at his leisure, or before bed, or with his afternoon tea, even in the bathtub.

 

However a slight problem arose when twelve rowdy darrow invaded his home…and ate his supper (and everything else in his pantry!). They were an incredibly merry, loud, disturbing lot that without warning broke into a chorus of rather rude songs (if you could call them that!) and started stomping about oafishly, hard enough to make his mounted paintings fall off the walls.

 

You have to bear in mind that a rowdy group of darrow stomping about is somewhat akin to a whole heard of horny Oliphants, trying to dance on their hind legs whilst high on old toby, and between the twelve of them they were managing to shake the very foundations of Bag End. 

 

Once their leader had arrived they did manage to calm down a little, while they discussed business and their up coming adventure, but it was not until much later when Bilbo was settling for bed and the last door in Bag End was slammed shut that an almighty crash was heard in or rather under the hill, startling all those within the near vicinity and a few wild animals outside.

 

“Damn!” shouted Bilbo loudly realising that all the shelves in his secret library had fallen down at once.

 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was books so I wanted to see how many times I could comfortably manage to squeeze the word ‘book(s)’ in.
> 
> Answer: 34 times.
> 
> p.s Myth and Magic, is a book dedicated to the works of John Howe and it’s beautiful.


	18. NEVER argue with dwarves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dain delicately tells Thranduil why he should never argue with a dwarf.
> 
> (tw: contains 2 mild swear words) - you were warned!

If anyone asked Gandalf how the peace talks were going his answer would be somewhere between not very well and disastrously…but as it happens no-one was asking his opinion and the wizard was most put out.  

 

For several hours now leaders from each of the armies had been ‘talking’ through their differences…well all leaders besides the dwarves in the mountain as they simply refused to leave their treasure, King Thorin had sent his most loyal and rational (in dwarvish terminologies) cousin Dain II Ironfoot to converse terms on his behalf.

 

And that was were the problem arose.

 

“My kin will never give you anything, you jumped up elf!” shouts Dain for the fifth time, while staring daggers into the graceful elf kings head.

 

Really these talks have been going for hours and very little, if any progress has been made.

 

“Lord Dain, stand down there are many things,” starts Gandalf, trying his best to calm the situation and not leave these idiots to the mercy of the oncoming army.

 

“I will not stand down before any elf! Not least this faithless woodland sprite!” shouts the dwarf lord in reply, hands on hips he gestures toward Thranduil, who is still doing his best to look composed “He wishes nothing but ill upon my people! If he chooses to stand between me and my kin - I’ll split his pretty head open!”

 

“He’s clearly mad, like his cousin!” sighs Thranduil, checking his hair for split ends.

 

“You hear that?!” points Dain accusingly while jumping on the spot.

 

“Obviously dwarves have no sense of self preservation, they are born of stone, all hard and angry.” comments Thranduil to one of his advisors.

 

“It could be worse! I could be like you!” responds Dain before throwing his beard over his shoulder and donning his best mock-feminine voice “I want to ride my elk through the flower meadows and let my silky hair blow free in the wind!”

 

This does manage to ruffle the elf king who stands to hover condescendingly over the rather angry dwarf lord “Children such as dwarves should not be allowed to enter such treaties”

  
“Ya’ keep talking like that and I’ll give you a bloody good hammering!” growls Dain reaching for his helmet and settling into a fighting stance.

 

Thranduil smiles furiously, loving just how easy it is to rile such funny little creatures.

 

“I’ll teach you not to start an argument ya’ can ne’ win with dwarves you yellow-haired, dress wearing, tree-shagger!” says Dain crossly, while standing on his tiptoes.

 

“And just how do you plan,” is all Thranduil manages to say before Dain’s helmeted head collides with with sensitive parts.

 

For a moment Gandalf does wonder if Thranduil is dead – a blow such as that would easily have killed an orc, but a groan of pain reassures him all is still relatively well.

 

“NEVER argue with anyone who can head-butt you in the dangly’s.” grins Dain proudly hovering over the elf kings crumpled form.

 

 ~


	19. Starlight in another world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain agonizing, unimaginable pain that's when it begins…well actually it began long before that when this particular young prince met the girl of his dreams along the road upon his returning to Erid Luin after a hunt…but that's a story for another time…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr Prompt: Where the reader had fallen into Middle Earth from 2014 and she had spent a lot of time with the line of Durin. During her time in Middle Earth she and Kili had grown strong feelings for each other, but during an afternoon in the Blue Mountains she just vanished without a trace leaving Kili heart broken. A few years later during the quest to reclaim Erebor when Kili is hit by Bolgs arrow he starts having hallucinations of her(reader). When he starts talking to her about a girl “walking on starlight in another world” and asks “do you think she could have ever loved me” he’s talking about his lost love (reader) because they never got to say goodbye.

~

 

Pain agonizing, unimaginable pain that's when it begins…well actually it began long before that when this particular young prince met the girl of his dreams along the road upon his returning to Erid Luin after a hunt…but that's a story for another time…

 

~

 

Sliding himself off of the ledge and into the waiting barrel below, the action causing the arrow in his leg to snap in two, the dwarves and their intrepid little burglar Bilbo plunge over the waterfall and continue down the rushing river, pursued by Bolg and his Orcs…

 

White hot pain courses through to his core as the barrel jostles in the tepid waters, bumping into the others Kili hears the battle raging around but is simply unable to help.

 

Slipping into a dream state Kili is once more reunited with his lost love who vanished without a trace leaving him heart broken and desolate almost a year ago.

 

Once the rivers current slows and the dwarves have safely made it ashore Kili falls to his knees, the pain from the arrow wound in his thigh to much to bear; but for as much as he would like to just throw his head back and simply scream he does not want to be thought less of by his uncle Thorin.

 

“I’m fine, it’s nothing.” says Kili dismissively upon noticing Bofur’s look of concern.

 

“On your feet.” shouts Thorin suddenly breaking the uneasy silence “There’s an Orc pack on our tail; we need to keep moving.”

 

“Of course we keep moving, we’re so close to the mountain; we’re so close.” says the really rather wet, but still excitable mister Baggins.

 

“A lake lies between us and that mountain laddy. We have no way to cross it.” chuckles Balin in his ever grandfatherly tone, resisting the urge to pat the hobbit on the head.

 

While Fili quickly binds his brothers leg, Ori sits by the river and squeezes an insane amount of water from his knitted socks.

 

Unbeknownst to them, a man, Bard soon to be Bowman, sneaks out from the shadows and aims an arrow at Ori. Dwalin, holding a branch, leaps in front of the younger dwarf to protect him and begins to charge towards the man, who simply releases his arrow which embeds itself right in the middle of the branch, between Dwalin’s knuckle duster free hands.

 

“Do it again, and you’re dead.” says the mystery man threateningly.

 

Balin the ever wise and watching diplomat, who is standing near the edge of the group, sees the mans barge floating in the river and manages to convince him that they are simple merchants from the Blue Mountains journeying to see kin in the Iron Hills and that they should be smuggled into Lake Town, closer to the mountain and thus conveniently away from the Orc pack.

 

It's difficult thing to smuggle thirteen drawrves and a hobbit into a small village but Bard seems to have done this before, many, manytimes and soon the company find themselves in the safety of a warm if small house waiting for the man to return with their promised weapons.

 

He returns with an awkward looking rather wet package and lays it on the table loosening the wrappings he reveals a plethora of handmade ‘weapons’, although weapon may be a little strong as most of them are tied together with thick string. Looking at them in disgust Thorin asks “What is this?” motioning to the ‘armory’ in front of him.

 

“All iron weapons are kept under lock and key, this is all I have.”

 

Thorin and Dwalin share a look that says they have a plan and without a word the dwarves move towards the door but Bard stops them “There’re spies watching this house you mustwait till nightfall.”

 

Admitting defeat for the afternoon the dwarves begin to settle down. Wincing, Kili discreetly examines the bandage on his leg while making sure no one is looking, the wound has begun to fester and turn a strange blackish colour.

 

As night falls the dwarves sneak into the armory, and they begin collecting the man sized weapons stored there, the pain of Kili’s wound takes toll, and when his injured leg gives way he falls with a cry, alerting the guard to their whereabouts and they are bought before the Master who Thorin convinces to help and provide weapons and food in return for gold once they have retaken the mountain.

 

The following morning the anxious yet excited people of Lake Town crowd along the sides of the main channel as a boat is loaded with supplies for the dwarves to take to the mountain.

 

Marching proudly along the pier the brave and mighty dwarves begin to board the boat, but Thorin stops Kili before he can get join them saying he must rest as they cannot risk missing the window of opportunity.

“What are you talking about? I’m coming with you.” says Kili in shock that his uncle would even suggest such a thing, it's not his fault that he was injured making sure the company escaped Mirkwood.

 

“No.” says Thorin harshly.

 

Fili, already in the boat, turns to look at his kin as Thorin lays a gentle hand on Kili’s shoulder and smiles at him, but Kili looks shocked, heart broken and betrayed. As the future King boards the boat Kili turns away, with Oin immediately joining him on shore under the pretense of staying with the wounded and Fili firmly deciding to stay with his brother…and of course Bofur who managed to turn up late for the departure.

 

~

 

Upon hearing a knock Bard opens his door to find Bofur, Fili, Kili, and Oin on his doorstep “No. I’m done with dwarves. Go away.” he tells them firmly before trying to slam the door shut, but Bofur stops it with his foot.

 

“No, no, no! you must listen please, No one will help us; Kili’s sick…He’s very sick.”

 

“What do you need?” asks the bargeman, his compassion making him unable to turn away the sick.

 

“I need herbs, something to bring down his fever.” says Oin pushing past Bard to lay Kili on the dining table.

 

Searching through his box of medicines Bard calls out “I have nightshade, feverfew…”

 

“They’re no use to me. Do you have any Kingsfoil?” shouts the old dwarf in slight panic.

 

“No, it’s a weed. We feed it to the pigs.”

 

“Pigs? Weed? Right, leave it with me!” shouts Bofur before running from the house in search of pigs and Kingsfoil, leading the Orc hunters directly to his kin.

 

Thankfully or not thankfully depending on your point of view Tauriel and Legolas have been hunting the hunters since they left Mirkwood, saving both the dwarves and children, as well as managing to kill more or less all of the Orcs.

 

“We must follow them they will lead us to their leader.” says Legolas to Tauriel before moving to chase the remaining Orcs without bothering to check if she has followed him.

 

Taking one last look at Kili she moves to follow her lord, walking straight into Bofur who by some stroke of luck managed to miss the fight and find the little weed.

 

…“Athelas.” whispers Tauriel reverently examining the small handful of green plant.

 

“What are you doing…?” asks Bofur warily, it's been a strange few days, he hasn't really dried out yet and elves really aren’t what he wants or needs right now.

 

“I’m going to save him.”

 

“Save him?”  “Are you sure that's allowed?”  “But you’re an elf!” ignoring the panicked remarks of the present darrow, the she-elf pushes into the small house to heal Kili.

 

“Hold him down.” Instructs Tauriel, washing the Kingsfoil in boiling water. She approaches the injured dwarf and gently peals away the bandage and quickly examines Kili’s wound which is now black and festered, the poison taking hold quickly. As the others look on, Tauriel closes her eyes and begins to chant in Elvish while pressing the soaked Kingsfoil into Kili’s wound.

 

                “Menno o nin na hon i eliad annen annin, hon leitho o ngurth.”*

 

Kili screams and thrashes wildly in pain, though Tauriel continues quietly chanting, knowing she must finish her spell; as begins to works it's way into his system Kili calms down and in his dazed, pain induced state it seems as though Tauriel’s voice has become echoing and all-encompassing like a whisper on an afternoon breeze, and she appears to glow like a star. He stares at her, she is truly beautiful…but…no it can't be her…

 

Binding his leg with a clean cloth, Tauriel watches Kili as he shifts in his sleep and begins to appreciate that her feelings for the dwarf may be more than…well more than anything she’d ever experienced, he is certainly fetching in a way different to that of elves.

 

Kili, still exhausted lies on the table with his head in a basket of walnuts, opening his eyes and looks at Tauriel.

 

“Tauriel.”

 

“Lie still.”

 

“You cannot be her.” he says dismissively, a frown creasing his sweaty brow, causing Tauriel to look up in confusion. “She is far away. Sh…She is far, far away from me, and she walks in starlight in another world.”

 

“It was just a dream.” Kili slowly raises his hand and entwines his fingers with Tauriel’s, imagining them to be that of his lost love.

 

“Do you think she could have loved me?” is the last thing he whispers before falling asleep.

 

~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…….this lovely little idea was requested by bluetides, it's shorter than I planned but I deleted it by accident (it was one of those why didn't make a copy moments) and had to try and re-write it from memory (never a good idea!), I then promptly forgot about it during the read-along (which is a shame, I could’ve used it for the Kili bingo square). ☺
> 
> *Rough translation: May the blessing that was given to me be sent from me to him, may he be released from death.
> 
> Also I had to include the walnuts, maybe they have some sort of healing power when combined with elvish magic.
> 
> This does have a prequel that will be re-done as soon as I remember what I’d originally written, which is awful cause I written about 8 chapters.


	20. Enlightenment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loosely based around the Imagine Fili needing to be a little drunk to be able to confess his feelings for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclosures apply, I own neither the Hobbit or LOTR. (Well except a rather nerdy collection of the books and movies!)

The hunting party of Thorin Oakenshield had come to rest in a small human village under the pretence of gathering supplies, which just happened to coincide with waiting out a rain storm, before returning to Erid Luin with their spoils.

 

Of course stopping to gather supplies is actually dwarven code for _‘I fancy a drink’_ which means finding a tavern, the ones run by men are usually given some sort of ridiculous name, there’s one in the village of Bree called _The Prancing Pony_ and other taverns include but are not limited to _The Laughing Dog, The Jolly Taxpayer_ and _The Drunken Duck_ , the youngest of Durin’s heirs are currently sat in a darkened corner of _The Castle_ \- oddly enough though, most call it _The Jim And Dragon_. Why does it have two names? you may ask yourself, well it's because Jim is the man who owns it and his wife…well, lets say she isn’t exactly a wallflower, anyway, Fili and Kili have for sometime been hiding from Dwalin and their uncle Thorin, promising to be in their rooms early so that there is a chance to catch something before they have to head home, that all changed however when they caught sight of The Castles rather lovely barmaid.

 

“Brother stop being silly and talk to her.”

 

“I will in my own time.”

 

The ‘her’ in question is currently sitting next to their friend Ori, who has been travelling with his older brother (not the respectable one, the pointy one) going over that pretty drawing book of his “Why do the women always go for him?” asks one brother, trying his hardest not to pout.

 

“I think they think that he’s ‘cute’.” answers the other, although he too is ever so slightly confused.

 

“Cute?”

 

“Yeah they, the women, they use that word a lot.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Everything’s ‘cute’ birds, puppies, clouds, their dresses, their friends dresses…and apparently…Ori.”

 

“Tell me what else do you know about human women, spare nothing.”

 

Several drinks later, once one brother has enlightened the other about the ways of women, they hear a shout from a small, strange looking man who they assume must be Jim “Closing time, pay up and clear out!”

 

“Talk to her brother, before she gets away. Remember what I told you to do and say.”

 

Summoning all his strength he walks as gracefully as a drunk dwarf can and approaches ‘her’, the woman who has so quickly captivated him.

 

“Oh, master dwarf…are you alright?” the young woman asks the swaying darrow, although when he fails to answer she simply bends down into his eye line, that’s better at least he’s focusing again – even if he is staring blatantly down her dress, the drink colouring his cheeks.

 

“I wuv you!” he says suddenly, forgetting everything his brother had told him to say, before fainting at the barmaids feet.

 

“He never was much good at holding his drink.” Kili says quietly to himself, moving to settle their bill, before scooping his brother off of the tavern floor, apologising to the woman and leaving.

 

~


	21. Little acorns and mighty oak trees.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwarves give their true love beads…hobbits they give buttons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourself for the feels :)

In my own little world of fanon, I like to believe that dwarves do in fact make each other very pretty beads when in love (love being whatever form it chooses for example, parents to children/lovers/best friends/etc), hobbits being hobbits however aren’t into such accessories and as part of their devotions, craft each other something much more important than hair beads, they make each other…buttons.

~

These beautiful little brass buttons where created by none other than Bungo Baggins, and were given to his true love Belladonna Took.

As the Baggins symbol is an acorn, it was only right and proper that Bungo show the whole of Hobbiton that his love and affection was like a little acorn and because of Belladonna would grow into a mighty tree.

~

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.s These buttons were actually my grandmothers, she was a little bit crazy and collected them in a huge tin. I’m also a bit crazy and loved sorting through them when I was little.


	22. Fire-Breather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The company of Thorin Oakenshield find out your secret, how will they react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt:
> 
> Drabble about the reader being Half Elf, Half Dragon, and Throin getting furious that Gandalf recruited them??(:

You’d been travelling with the company of Thorin Oakenshield for some months now, mainly on the say so of the meddling wizard Gandalf, as he thought you would not only be useful when confronting Smaug but that it would do you good to get out of your cave…of course being half elf and half dragon made life a little difficult, the dragon was easy to hide…it's not like you have wings or anything, just the odd scale, very sharp claws and the ability to breath fire, to most you just looked like a small elf, not much taller than a dwarf, but with pointy ears and graceful movements.

 

It was all going so well, until the company got soaked through in a storm, everything was wet the food, the matches, the spare matches dwarves are naturally very good at starting fire and even they deemed the wood and kindling too wet to work with.

 

“(Y/N) can do it, can't you?” questioned Gandalf innocently enough.

 

“It's too wet wizard weren’t you listening!” shouts Gloin from inside his cloak.

 

“Ah yes, but (Y/N) is a fire-breather and they never have any problems starting a fire.” responds the wizard in his I know everything wizardly way.

 

“A fire-breather…like a dragon?” asks Bilbo as all present turn to stare at you with looks ranging from fear to awe.

 

“How could you think it was a good idea wizard?” challenges Thorin, he looks at you with neither fear or awe, only suspicion “Look at her!”

 

“Excuse me!” you say, in your long life you've out up with plenty of stick over what you are and are pretty much used to being hated or feared.

 

“One look at Smaug, at, at the treasure hoard of Thror and it might kill us all.” continues Thorin pointing at you.

 

“I’m standing right here.” you respond crossing your arms in front of yourself and glaring daggers at the dwarf.

 

“She’s only half dragon Thorin.” says Gandalf placating manner.

 

“Aye and what’s the other half?” asks Dwalin while trying to discreetly reach for his axes.

 

“Oh, well it's…elf.” mumbles Gandalf in answer, fumbling with his pipe.

 

“You mean to say that all this time we’ve been travelling with an elf!?” chokes Thorin in disbelief, if he turns any redder smoke will start escaping from his ears.

“I thought it was the dragon part that you didn't like.” you quip smartly enjoying how ruffled the dwarf king is.

 

Picking your soaked pack from the soaked ground you say “I’m going to light a fire over there and dry off…anyone who wants to join me is welcome.”

 

The dwarves don't quite know what to do the offer if a fire and being able to dry off is lovely, but Thorin won’t like it if the dwarves run after you instead of standing by him. The matter is settled however when the hobbit picks up his pack and runs towards the newly lit camp fire, followed closely by the wizard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm up for continuing this, its fun to write. Just leave a comment below with what you'd like to see happen :)


	23. Safe and Sound (Pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to chapter 6 - Safe and sound (Bofur/Reader) 
> 
> Inspired by two imaginexhobbit submissions ‘Imagine falling asleep in Bofur’s arm’s.’ and ‘Imagine if for once nobody dies.’ ☺

Prompt [HERE](http://durinsmistress.tumblr.com/post/115419045311/hello-d-safe-and-sound-bofur-x-reader-is-such)

~

You wake to the feel of something tickling your forehead, you open your eyes to see Bofur’s moustache and gently move to press a kiss to your lovers neck, enjoying the feel of his strong arm around your waist.

It's almost enough to make you forget the horrors of the battle…almost, the dead are still burning, it's a sight and smell you only ever have to witness once, the cloying, thick stench that permits the air and stains the ground. Trying not to think on it you adjust yourself back into Bofur’s sleeping embrace and drift into sleep again hoping that when you wake things will be back to normal.

“We should wake like this more often.” comments Bofur, kissing your forehead, hat askew and voice still weary from sleep.

“On a battlefield surrounded by dead orcs and elves?”  you ask leaning up on one arm to get a better look at him.

“Maybe not the elves, but the dead orcs I could live with!” he chuckles with a lopsided grin but you can see the pain in his eyes, the healers said he took three arrows.

“Do you need more pain relief?” you whisper quietly, trying not to put any pressure on his wounds.

“Nah, lass just settle yourself down again.” settling against his side you start to daydream of things to come.

It's a content silence between the two of you, neither really focused on anything but both unable to find sleep again, just happy to be where you are, without realising you sigh.

“They'll want to move us now you’re awake.” you say, twirling the end of his braids around your fingers.

“Then we’d best look like were sleeping if we want to stay here.” says Bofur pulling his hat down over his eyes and tightening his arm around you.

 ~

requested by [explodingdickbits](http://tmblr.co/mfyyeneBZlmVQsoE2L3Z1IA) (tumblr), and [BCgurlie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/BCgurlie/pseuds/BCgurlie) and [SmartassUndertheMountain](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SmartassUndertheMountain/pseuds/SmartassUndertheMountain) and Em via AO3


End file.
